Friday, August 24, 2007
Sheng Haizi 生孩子
Having Kids (Chinese Style)
No, this is not a post about Tim and I having kids. That will still wait until after China. This is a post about the Chinese way of having kids, which was the topic of today's lunch time discussion.
The one-child policy is still in effect in China, with a few exceptions. If the mother and the father are both singles, they can have 2. Or, if you are a farmer, and your first is a girl, four years later you can try once again for a boy. So, having kids is a pretty big deal. Having a boy is even a bigger deal (unless you live in Shanghai, where the men are expected to provide the housing for any Shanghai girl they want to marry - a huge financial burden for the parents!) Some studies say that if China continues on its current path, within 10 years, the boy:girl ratio will reach 120:100, leaving 20 guys to live at home taking care of their parents and be bachelors for life. Which probably doesn't sound too bad to the parents of China... One story at lunch today that came up was of a friend's friend who recently had a girl. She was happy, but her parents-in-law blatently told her of their disappointment. The girl didn't know the sex of the baby before it was born. In fact, it is illegal to find out. Doctors and nurses are sworn to secrecy. With this policy, how they still end up with 20 extra boys for every 100 girls is a difficult thing to swallow. I guess the farmer policy, and the fact that people eligible for 2 often stop at one if its a 'he' also contributes. For my friend's friend, this will be the couple's one shot at a son, they've blown it.
Due to the one child policy, birth control is no secret and not difficult to get. Condoms occupy the space next to the check out counter where we are used to seeing gum and M&Ms. The Pill is available cheap and without a prescription (about $2/month). Not really a pregnancy prevention tactic, but abortion is also common and available at any hospital. Having more is not an option for most. Recently, though, more and more middle class Chinese are choosing to pay the fine to get another ID card for a second baby (the fee is equal to about 3 years salary for the average worker, the upper middle class have to save a bit, but it is not much).
As for the one baby everyone is allowed, there are more wives tales, concerns and ideas than one can imagine. Ways to ensure a male in the womb are interesting and inventive: men who smoke produce less male-sperm than men who do not smoke. If you abort a son and try again later, your body cannot produce DNA for a boy ever again. If you walk when you are pregnant, you will have a boy. If you take the stairs down but not up, you will have a boy. All these were delivered in Chinese, so I can't guarantee I got them all exactly, and there are more that I missed.
Most Chinese women are encouraged to deliver through C-section, which I was surprised about. I would have thought China to be very natural about childbirth, with all the Chinese medicine that is used now in the US. This might be a through-put tactic (my idea). Or it might be that Chinese people are being born bigger and bigger, and a 9 lb. baby is a bit large for a 5'4" mama to push out (my colleague's explanation). Also, many women do not breast feed so that they can lose the baby weight faster with no affect to their figure. I guess everyone worries about that :) Fertility drugs are not very available or used, with the high chance of multiples. Women are only allowed to consider it after 2 years of trying.
Sheng Haizi is a big part of every culture. I find it fascinating here, with their restrictions and traditions. I have told my colleagues about one of Tim's colleagues from Austin who recently had quintuplets. No one here can even imagine that! I guess it is really a big part of our American culture, too.
No, this is not a post about Tim and I having kids. That will still wait until after China. This is a post about the Chinese way of having kids, which was the topic of today's lunch time discussion.
The one-child policy is still in effect in China, with a few exceptions. If the mother and the father are both singles, they can have 2. Or, if you are a farmer, and your first is a girl, four years later you can try once again for a boy. So, having kids is a pretty big deal. Having a boy is even a bigger deal (unless you live in Shanghai, where the men are expected to provide the housing for any Shanghai girl they want to marry - a huge financial burden for the parents!) Some studies say that if China continues on its current path, within 10 years, the boy:girl ratio will reach 120:100, leaving 20 guys to live at home taking care of their parents and be bachelors for life. Which probably doesn't sound too bad to the parents of China... One story at lunch today that came up was of a friend's friend who recently had a girl. She was happy, but her parents-in-law blatently told her of their disappointment. The girl didn't know the sex of the baby before it was born. In fact, it is illegal to find out. Doctors and nurses are sworn to secrecy. With this policy, how they still end up with 20 extra boys for every 100 girls is a difficult thing to swallow. I guess the farmer policy, and the fact that people eligible for 2 often stop at one if its a 'he' also contributes. For my friend's friend, this will be the couple's one shot at a son, they've blown it.
Due to the one child policy, birth control is no secret and not difficult to get. Condoms occupy the space next to the check out counter where we are used to seeing gum and M&Ms. The Pill is available cheap and without a prescription (about $2/month). Not really a pregnancy prevention tactic, but abortion is also common and available at any hospital. Having more is not an option for most. Recently, though, more and more middle class Chinese are choosing to pay the fine to get another ID card for a second baby (the fee is equal to about 3 years salary for the average worker, the upper middle class have to save a bit, but it is not much).
As for the one baby everyone is allowed, there are more wives tales, concerns and ideas than one can imagine. Ways to ensure a male in the womb are interesting and inventive: men who smoke produce less male-sperm than men who do not smoke. If you abort a son and try again later, your body cannot produce DNA for a boy ever again. If you walk when you are pregnant, you will have a boy. If you take the stairs down but not up, you will have a boy. All these were delivered in Chinese, so I can't guarantee I got them all exactly, and there are more that I missed.
Most Chinese women are encouraged to deliver through C-section, which I was surprised about. I would have thought China to be very natural about childbirth, with all the Chinese medicine that is used now in the US. This might be a through-put tactic (my idea). Or it might be that Chinese people are being born bigger and bigger, and a 9 lb. baby is a bit large for a 5'4" mama to push out (my colleague's explanation). Also, many women do not breast feed so that they can lose the baby weight faster with no affect to their figure. I guess everyone worries about that :) Fertility drugs are not very available or used, with the high chance of multiples. Women are only allowed to consider it after 2 years of trying.
Sheng Haizi is a big part of every culture. I find it fascinating here, with their restrictions and traditions. I have told my colleagues about one of Tim's colleagues from Austin who recently had quintuplets. No one here can even imagine that! I guess it is really a big part of our American culture, too.
# posted by Laurel @ 1:16 PM 
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