Shanghai'd

Haircut.

After a year in China, I would like to think my mindset has settled into a level that surpasses even grandmothers with their 20th grandchild – expecting the unexpected, and extreme patience with everything. However, I forget sometimes, usually when doing something I do rarely, like jian toufa. I went to the salon for a haircut Sunday with 2 full hours before my next commitment. Plenty of time, I thought, in an empty shop with 30 employees standing around. But first I had to use the bathroom (nothing worse than getting your hair rinsed out when you are crossing your legs busting for the toilet). I am accustomed to waiting, Chinese women take an extraordinary amount of time in the loo. I was not prepared for a man to take 15 minutes, I guess he was a hairdresser, but come on! Anyway, I am finally in the chair. First, a neck massage. I am not going to ask them to hurry with that one… Then the shampoo, which did require a kuai yidian to get it moving along. Once I was all massaged and shampooed, I still had 60 minutes left. Then I waited. Apparently the 20 people who were doing nothing were not authorized to cut hair. After another 20 minutes the barber was free. 40 minutes remaining, and I began to wish I had skipped the neck massage, bathroom, whatever to make sure I didn’t have to ask him to hurry in cutting my hair. Fortunately, he worked fast, and I was ready for a blow dry at t-minus 20. At this point I really got antsy and was ready to walk out with wet hair. But he was doing a neat Bernoulli’s trick with the brush, hairdryer and my hair. As soon as I was dry, I rushed out of the seat (to wait at the cash register) and made it home at the same time as the water delivery guy I was waiting on. A 20 minute haircut that lasted 2 hours and 10 minutes. I guess the moral of the story is everything takes twice as long as you expect (and costs a fraction – that whole ordeal set me back $8). Although, I think I remember learning that one before… I love China.