Saturday, September 30, 2006

 

Guke guanxi 顾客关系

Customer Relations.

One bright spot of having my wallet and phone stolen was that I got to test out the guke guanxi of some big brand name Chinese companies.

China Mobile - Recently crowned the world's largest mobile phone operator. With a dubious title like that you would expect Verizon-esque service, but in fact, China Mobile gets an A from me this time around. I was able to purchase a new phone and SIM card, keep my existing phone number and even get the remaining pre-charge balance transferred over, all in one lunch break. Now if they could just make the recharge procedure English menu a little more annunciated. Seriously, it's notoriously hilarious and the bane of every new foreign arrival to China who attempts to navigate this automated voice menu for the first time. "That was English?". I use the Mandarin menu now because it's clearer, and my Chinese ain't that good.

ICBC bank - How hard could it be to replace a stolen ATM when there is a branch of your bank conveniently located on the bottom floor of your office building? That's what I naively thought too. The first challenge is actually getting to talk to a banker. Every morning around 8:45am an anxious and occasionally violent crowd starts forming around the entrance waiting to charge in as soon as some poor sap opens the door. Once inside, if you can somehow choose the right line on your first attempt, you only have to wait once, but this proves exceedingly impossible. Upon finally talking to the banker, I find out that because I am a foreigner with a bank balance over 10000RMB, they could not re-issue an ATM card without "sponsorship" by a Chinese with a Shanghai ID card. Luckily, one of my colleagues had brought his ID card, so after ANOTHER line and about 30 official chops (government stamps) we completed all the paper work and could simply ... come back in 7-10 business days to inquire about the new card. This example of bureaucratic lunacy continued for 2 weeks before I finally had my replacement card. Interestingly, ICBC is planning the world' largest IPO ever, so any potential investors, be warned!

A side note for any ICBC customers out there: my colleague taught me a nice trick to work the line system. Since the foreign currency exchange line is always the shortest, carry a small supply of $1 US bills in your wallet. You can start any transaction with that $1 US, thus qualifying you for the foreign currency line, then do whatever other real transaction you want after that. Brilliant.

By the way, is there anyone living in China right now actually reading this? If so, drop me some feedback. I'm curious.

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